I want to Salsa in the Supermarket

"To sweat is to pray, to make an offering of your innermost self. Sweat is holy water, prayer beads, pearls of liquid that release your past, anointing all your parts in a baptism by fire. Sweat burns karma, purifying body and soul…The more you sweat, the more you pray. The more you pray, the closer you come to ecstasy”
(Gabrielle Roth in Sweat Your Prayers).

 One of my first jobs was as an Aerobic and weight trainer/Instructor for a Women's Health Club called "Gloria Stevens". It was nothing for me to teach as many as 4, 1 hour long, classes of Aerobics and Calisthenics in a day then do 2-3 circuits on the weights along with our clients. I loved that job. Not because I could ever make a living but because it helped me to know who I am inside. I could have 
possibly been happy doing that for my life. I loved going to work in the mornings and never minded taking on the extra hours. My strong work ethic and love of feeling fit gave me great joy and a spiritual connection with who I am. I have always had an ability to "zone out" when I work out. It must be like a runners high. When I used to get my heart up to Aerobic levels and feel as though I could stay there forever. It gave me peace and made me happy from the inside out. I used to say I could not meditate, hold still long enough to silence my thoughts. I now know that, my most calming peaceful and happy moments in my young life were when my heart was pounding and sweat was pouring. Thinking about it now I have to say, what happened? Why would I ever give that up?

Since becoming an "Adult", getting married and adopting our son, I have turned away from a lot of things that used to bring me joy. Yes, I miss my size 7's my 24 inch waist line and my ability to run without loosing my breath. And, it is not as if I am never happy or that I do not have moments of joy as my son fills me with as much joy as my heart can take on. But, I seem to have given up my physical connection with my higher self, Dancing, Kung Fu, Bike Riding, long Mountainous hikes, playing with my nieces and nephews, running and just being silly all took the edge off of growing up. I miss all of this. I miss the days of cheerleading and drill team of Belly Dancing classes and Strip Tease aerobics. I miss the exploration of new places and feeling my body learn new things. Since I lost those small joys I have also drifted away from the very core of who I am. My life is good but I take it for granted. I can have it all and as of today. I am taking back my life.

Well as of today, I renounce my adult status. I am boycotting the news for the next 3 months. I will not watch violence on T.V. or absorb the news papers. You can have that membership card back. I will be spending my time remembering my muscles, my values, my truths, my family, my joy, my peace, my love, my abundances and my spirit. I will play with my child. I will eat what nourishes my soul and sweat until I can remember the joyous and soft soul that is me. I am officially going to let Lolo out to play for a while. I want to sweat. I want to take Pole dancing classes and Ballroom classes. I want to salsa in the supermarket, Pirouette in the parking lot, Hula in the church halls. I will from now on laugh out loud when laughter moves me and cry when my heart is full. I will look at the mornings with a new interest in the sunrise and go to bed with a new interest in my love. Instead of feeding my feelings from this point forward,  I will dance with them. And bring back into my life all that I love!

 “We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing !” ~ Benjamin Franklin